Megan.lol.

To some, it comes naturally. To others, it takes thought and dedication. For me, it takes a list. To keep my life on track I need lists. I know it sounds terribly elitist and borderline OCD. I swear I am not one of those “anal retentive organized has all their shit together people”. In fact, at times my life is a mess. I have unpaid bills, unresolved traffic tickets, family members that I haven’t spoken to in weeks, and there are even days when I haven’t left the apartment. In order to get all those things taken care of I have to make a list. I’ve made lists for chores that need to be done around the house, bills that need to be paid, homework assignments and due dates; lists for packing, and even lists to make sure I graduated from college on time.

I’ve been thinking for a while that I need to get my life on a new track. I need to break bad habits and inherit new ones (It takes 21 days to form a habit and twice that long to break it). I need a list to improve my life.

I’ll be the first to admit that my life isn’t that bad. I have a family, and lots of friends. I have a job, a car, an apartment, a crazy one year old black cat named Bronx. All in all my life is not bad. For those of you thinking to yourselves right now “Then why are you bitching? If you’re life is so great then why do you need a stupid list to improve it?”. Well I’ll tell you. No one in the history of sane people has ever told themselves that their lives are perfect and there is nothing else that could make them any happier than they are at that exact moment. I call bullshit. Even the richest most self affirmed man would rather be getting laid at any given point. Case in point, the rich man would be happier if he were busting a nut.

People can always be happier. I can be happier by making a list of positive simple tasks that I believe will enhance my life and possibly the people I surround myself with.

THE LIST

1- Go to the gym EVERY day.

2- Read at least ONE book a month.

3- CALL a relative, friend, or sister every other day.

4- Pay all bills on TIME.

5- Don’t BE lazy.

6- Spend one hour OUTSIDE every day.

7- Smile and say HELLO to anyone you pass.

8 - Try to LEARN something new; and remember it.

You lying, no good, cheap, disgusting, sorry excuse for a human being. Fuck you.

I really want it. More than I’ve wanted anything. If I work hard I can do it. Question is, will I follow through? How awesome would it be to prove myself wrong and achieve everything I’ve always wanted. To show myself that true happiness can be achieved and I have myself to thank for it.

Going to San Antonio for the weekend, and in the past my trips to the SA have been phenomenal and very memorable. I like SA a lot and I absolutely love my roommates. However, this time around it seems like the combination of the three of us and going somewhere for the weekend doesn’t mesh well. All three of us are so different. We all enjoy completely different forms of entertainment. One loving nothing more than to relax and sleep in, and not be too hectic but planned as well. Another, loves nightlife and meeting new people and dancing; although I can never tell if she is having fun. And me, I am up for anything in moderation. If I spend one night out having some fun and drinks with the girls then the next night I’d like to stay in or have a quiet dinner and coffee.

The three of us…we just don’t mesh. Even at home we all have our own perception of what every day should be like. When something doesn’t happen the way we want, we all in a sense shut down.

Back to our little trip, we can’t seem to accommodate one another. If two of us want one thing and the other doesn’t, we aren’t willing to compromise. When that happens, the one who didn’t get their way or ones who couldn’t do what the majority voted on gets awkward and unhappy.

This is turning out to be a weekend full of blank stares and unwanted tension.

Trust is the reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, and confidence in a person or thing.

Hmmm, that’s a lot to take in. All those words; integrity, strength, confidence. Can anyone possibly be all of those things? The answer is yes. I have surrounded my life in trying to find someone that I can trust. Someone that I can count on to keep a promise to me no matter how big or small, someone to help me, listen to me, be honest with me and someone I can depend on.

I know of only one person who I can trust with all these things. I am thankful for them. Thank you for being in my life, and for giving me the greatest gift of all.

Liars suck.